He's right there
by amshaw17
Summary: Bellarke modern ghost au with a twist, do I know what that twist is just yet? Maybe.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or any of it's wonderful characters.

A:N/ This is set completely outside of the cannon realm. It's just something I've literally been writing on receipts at work! My friends read over it but it's not been edited, so please excuse any glaring mistakes. And I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter One

It's just getting dark out and they're all relaxing in the living room, like usual when O speaks up out of nowhere. "Bell was a real piece of work," O says smiling fondly. Clarke doesn't catch the word was and her eyes slide just to the left of her friend and lock onto Bellamy's. She assumes O is mentioning him being annoying because of his obnoxious, but cute, habit of nitpicking every inaccuracy in the historical movies that they watch. Tonight it's something or other about Troy and while Clarke doesn't really care about it, she loves watching her friends obsess over it.

"I bet so, " she says smirking, he's been a big pain in her butt since she moved in, moving all her things around like she wouldn't notice. The smirk he sends her way in return lacks it's usual spark and she tilts her head to the side wondering why. He may be a pain, but he's a pain she actually happens to like. And that look on his face doesn't sit well with her for some reason.

Octavia leaves the room shortly after, a matching frown on her face and what looks like tears trailing down her face. "Oh jesus Bellamy what did I do? Can she tell this isn't something I'm super into?" Clarke asks as she watches her friends retreating back. She can't stand to see her sad either, these are her people, the only ones who matter, the only ones who accept her as she is.

"I promise you didn't do anything wrong Princess…she doesn't mind if you're not super into it..." his voice is strained, more strained than she thinks she's ever heard it. "Can we go watch tv in your room please?" The raw emotion in his voice is enough to get her to cave without asking any more questions. She's known that something weird has been going on with her friends, but she never manages to get a straight answer from either one of them...and his right here is why. If either one of them start acting sad and ask her to do something she's all over it immediately. But most especially if it happens to be Bellamy that's being sad.

"Okay…" she stands and drags the blanket she's grown quite attached to since moving in with her. "I'm not giving this blanket up though so don't get any ideas…" Bellamy chuckles behind her and it's like balm to her soul. It helps her feel just a tad better about things...but not entirely.

And despite her fussing about sharing the blanket she does just that when Bellamy crawls into her bed with her. And when he presses his cold face into her stomach she doesn't say a word about it, she needs the comfort just as much as he does.

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"Why don't you ever hang out with anyone else?" Octavia asks only a few days after what Clarke's dubbed the troy incident. "Not that I don't love hanging out with you of course…"

Clarke frowns and wonders what she means...is she trying to imply that Bellamy doesn't really like hanging out with her? He sure cuddles in the bed with her enough for her to think Octavia would be insane to suggest such a thing.

"Hanging out with you is plenty for me…" Clarke mumbles, she's looking toward her room where she left Bellamy as she says it. He's Plenty for her too.

"You don't ever get lonely when I'm out with Lincoln or Raven?" Octavia asks, pressing the issue for a reason Clarke can't even begin to fathom.

"No...I never have a chance to be lonely," she says. And she means it.

"Okay...I'm just checking on you Clarke you've been stuck in your room lately and I've been worried is all…" she pulls her in for a hug so warm it shocks her a bit, it's the exact opposite of Bellamy's hugs. She's grown so accustomed to the cold that seeps from him that Octavia is like an inferno and she almost shoves her away. Thankfully she lets go shortly after.

"Alright...if you're fine I'm going to stay with Lincoln...it's our anniversary today and I need something to cheer me up after all the mess my brain's been through this week over Bell…" O glances down at her clenched hands. "I love him, but I can't be in here right now...okay?"

Clarke frowns but nods her head to show that she gets it, even if she doesn't. She doesn't get what issues they have...they don't speak much in front of her...or any actually, but she just figured that they like to talk in private, aren't some families like that? "Have fun O, and tell Lincoln I said Hi…"

"Will do...don't spend too much time alone while I'm gone…"

"I won't," she says once more talking to her friends retreating back, it's becoming a recurring theme as of late. She turns and walks back to her room frowning. What in the world can she do to fix whatever's going on with her friends? These two obviously mean the world to one another...but they don't communicate and after a few months getting to know the pair of them it's breaking her heart to pieces. They deserve to be okay.

"Bellamy how can I help fix things with Octavia?" she asks, going with a direct approach. "Did I do something to make things like this? Am I in the way here? Do I need to move out?" She's close to tears as she stares into his face searching for an answer to any of the questions she has.

Her lower lip trembles and the tears she desperately wants to keep in fall anyway. "Oh Princess no, please don't cry," Bellamy's voice breaks and he holds his arms out for her. "Please come here…" He sounds desperate to have her in his arms. And truthfully he is. He can't actually tell her what's going on, he wants to, but each time he tries the explanation catches in his throat.

He's tried for weeks to open up to Clarke and each time he tries he fails, he's so angry at himself for not being strong enough to get the words out. He never thought he'd want to tell her when she first moved in their place. He thought she was stuck up, hence the name princess, then she quickly proved him wrong by caring about him and his sister.

He was so focused on not liking her at first that it took him a bit to realize that she could see him...she'd marched right up to him after Octavia had left for work one morning and asked him what his problem was and demanded that he at least stop ignoring her.

She fits in his arms so nicely that he wonders why they haven't sat quite like this before. If she wasn't sniffling still he could almost ignore the issues that were facing them. "Bellamy...you didn't answer me, if I leave will she start talking to you again?"

"Don't think like that please," he mumbles. "You moving out wouldn't make things any different than they are now princess...O is likely to never be able to talk to me again…"

"But she loves you...surely she can't stand not talking to you?" her face scrunches and tears threaten to spill from her eyes again, truthfully after knowing him she can't imagine never talking to him again, that'd be one of the worst feelings ever she imagines.

"Oh princess...I don't even know how to explain things to you…"

"Bellamy you can tell me anything," and she means it more than she's meant much of anything in a long time. He stirs something deeper than concern inside of her and she thinks she could even admit it to him if they could both just open up...even if she moved out, she'd be more than willing to come and visit...they could still be close like they've gotten over the last few weeks.

"I don't know how to explain...I'm not just saying that princess. What I do know won't make any sense to you...you are literally the only person who's really seen or talked to me in so long. You've been such a miracle to me princess...even when we've been at each other's throats."

"It's all been teasing after the first week or so when we've fussed, you've been a miracle to me too Bell...you just don't realize how much…" It's the first time the nicknames ever left her lips...and it just feels so right.

From the way his frown pulls up at the corners, she thinks he might just feel the same way.

"Maybe I can try to guess what's wrong?" She only suggests doing things this way because she's desperate to be able to fix things, and he really seems like he's struggling to get any kind of explanation out...she doesn't want to make things harder on him.

Bellamy looks so broken- and when she thinks about it O hasn't been looking too happy herself. "I- you can try princess. But I really don't think you'll come close to guessing what's going on. I don't even have all the answers…" he frowns but resolves himself to further questions. He doesn't blame her for wanting to figure things out. Maybe he can find it in himself to really explain after she guesses some and he attempts to work up some nerve. He wants to let her in as much as he can given his circumstances. And maybe if he can open up to her she can tell him why he still feels so alive when everyone says he's dead.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 or any of it's wonderful characters.

A:N/ This is set completely outside of the cannon realm. It's just something I've literally been writing on receipts at work! My friends read over it but it's not been edited, so please excuse any glaring mistakes. And I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter Two

"Okay...so you two aren't in a fight?" she asks, already knowing he's going to tell her no. When either of them talks about the other it's in a fond way and neither of them ever seem to complain about the other...which Clarke has always thought was weird given any other siblings she's known. He shakes his head no, confirming what she really already knew.

"Are you annoyed about Lincoln?" she asks- they've never really talked about it. But she's wondered for a while about it. They've never been introduced after all, which she finds odd. It would make sense if he was the issue between her friends.

Another shake of his head says he isn't the issue either. "Are you sure? I know that she's never even brought him here...I've not met him which isn't that odd. But you're her brother and haven't met the man she's going to marry...surely that's part of what's going on?" She wants to smack herself after opening her mouth. She could have worded that so much better. "I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just saying it's weird because in spite of the fact that you two haven't been speaking around me for whatever reason I know you're close..."

A pained look crosses Bellamy's face and then a look she can only describe as determined flashes across it right after. "Clarke...this situation isn't her fault or Lincolns. It's more mine I guess you could say," he bites his lip after speaking and looks to be struggling to get anything else out. "Clarke...Octavia isn't mad at me. She's sad...she's sad because she hasn't seen me or heard me speak in a long time." He all but spits the words out at her and if she didn't know better she would think he was angry with her instead of the situation.

The words taste like poison on his tongue and he almost wishes he could take them back. But he can't. He'd surely not wanted to admit such a thing out loud- and not to Clarke. He doesn't want her to look at him like he's crazy or like he's something scary. He wants her to keep looking at him the way she's been looking at him like he's still a living breathing person...like she likes him. He's afraid that after this she might not anymore.

"She can hear and see just fine though?" Clarke's more than a little confused. "How could she miss you, Bellamy? Your presence takes up this entire place," she means it sort of jokingly but then realizes just how true her words are a few seconds after speaking them.

"Yes, I know she can hear and see just fine. You're not quite getting what I'm saying. I'll just be as blunt as I can be...like ripping a band-aid off. She can see everyone else. She can't see or hear me. And no one else but you can see or hear me either...It's been this way for over two years princess…"

"What do you mean?" Clarke's holding onto him tighter than she ever has before and she can't be bothered to loosen her hold on him. Her lower lip trembles as the only thing she can think of clicks in her mind. But it's so crazy she doesn't want to say the words out loud.

"They tell me I'm dead...well they don't tell me. They told O that I'm dead. I even watched them bury my empty casket…" his lip trembles along with Clarke's.

"Wait...empty?" she feels like she should be more focused on the fact that he's just confirmed the insanity of her thoughts but she isn't. Her mind is instead hung up on the word empty. "Why was it empty Bellamy?"

"From the bits and pieces of conversation, I've been able to pick up from Octavia...they never found my body. I was involved in a hard case and whoever I was tracking down for the precinct took me out…" Clark finds herself blinking at him, precinct he said...she never knew he was a cop.

"Funny I never pictured you as a cop…" she says studying him for what feels like the millionth time. "You seem much too warm to be a cop...if that makes any sense at all. Not to mention nerdy." She says the last part both because she means it and because she wants to make him laugh.

"Yea believe it or not I was and I was damn good at it too...until I wasn't any more…" he bites his lip and shakes his head…"I wish I was still alive Clarke. I had so much left to do. I don't feel dead as it is and it sucks so much not being able to move forward with my life, or even my death when it all comes down to it."

"I can't even begin to imagine," she says. "I would've never guessed you weren't alive Bell...you seem pretty alive to me…"

"I feel alive princess...but that funeral said otherwise…" The conversation dies down after that and they just stay there in each other's arms. And when Octavia comes home again and finds Clarke curled the way she is...she doesn't think anything of it.

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Months go by and they don't talk about his ghost status as much as one might expect. And when they do it's over little things that pop into her head, not over the big things that she worries and wonders about ninety-nine percent of the time. "I guess it makes sense that you're so cold," Clarke mumbles one morning just as the sun's beginning to peek through the curtains of her room. They're cuddled up under her blanket and haven't moved in at least twenty-four hours. Octavia is away at Lincoln's again and there's nothing else either of them would rather do than lay in her bed watching tv like they've been doing.

"I'm surprised you want us to cuddle like this because of that," he says. "I wasn't aware I was cold until you told me and by the time you let it slip we'd been doing this for a while…" His large hands trail over her back as he pulls her closer...it's like he's scared she'll suddenly tell him to go away if he brings his concerns up.

"It's not a cold that actually makes me cold...and that makes no sense at all. But I don't know how else to explain it. It's nice and I like it a lot…" she mumbles against his chest...his rather solid feeling chest. That's another thing she wonders about a lot...she doesn't know how he's so real to her to the point where she can feel him. She wonders how anyone just can't see him…

"I'm glad you do princess. And I'm glad you want to cuddle...so don't take it the wrong way, please. I might cry if you do," he says. She can tell he's smiling just by the tone of voice he uses and her only response is to cuddle closer.

Octavia brings up her weird behavior a few more times over the next few months. But each time Clarke waves her worries away. One particular afternoon she comes home from Lincoln's though and she just won't drop it.

"Clarke most twenty-something year olds don't stay in their rooms cuddled up under their blankets like you do…" Octavia says after trying to convince her to go out drinking with her and her friends for over an hour. "I thought you liked to party?"

Clarke shrugs, "I used to. But now I'd much rather be in here just relaxing…" She glances to Octavia's left where Bellamy stands having just entered the room.

"Princess I promise I won't disappear on you if you want to go out with O…," he says. The way he wrings his hands has a frown pulling at her lips. He's mentioned before that he feels guilty every time she chooses to stay in instead of going out when someone asks. But he shouldn't. She wants to be here with him more than she wants to go out.

"Octavia I need to go to my room for a minute. I'll come right back and we can talk about this some more okay?" she says. Octavia wants to protest but Clarke doesn't give her that option. She's barreling by her and curling her fingers in the air like she does so often. With a defeated sigh she plops down on the couch to wait for her friend to come back out.

Bellamy lets her pull him down the hallway and into her room. She doesn't speak until after she's made sure the door is good and shut behind them. "Bellamy Augustus Blake I want to be here in this apartment with you," she says as she spins on her slippered feet. Her forefinger pokes him in his chest and sparks something in him that he knows he probably needs to push down. He gulps...more out of reflex than need...and watches her and takes in her fire. And if he gulps or inhales with each poke of her finger...well that's just going to have to be fine.

"I'm not saying I don't want to go out sometimes or hang out with O...but tonight I really don't want to do anything but be with you…" she says. And it feels more intimate to say out loud. She knows he's dead or whatever...but he's more real to her than just about anything else in this world and when she thinks of him it usually isn't an issue.

"Okay, Princess…"

"Okay?"

"Okay." He holds his arms out and she all but flings herself at him, never mind the fact that none of this should be possible. She's going to take all the time the world deems fit to give her with him.

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"You know I've been wondering...why isn't clothing an issue for you?" she asks. "Real life ghost stuff is nothing like tv shows. You change clothes more than I do!" Bellamy raises an eyebrow at the amused tone of her voice. Clarke doesn't even notice, she's too busy practically inhaling the peanut butter sandwich she's just made while she waits for him to answer.

"Err...I just think about what I want to wear and it's there...much better than having to do laundry all the time so I guess there's a plus to this mess…" he says, while slowly inching away from her. When she notices she stops with her sandwich halfway toward her.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Bellamy freezes, his hand held pointed toward her half eaten food. "Sorry I have..er had...a severe peanut allergy- it's still a habit for me to get as far away from it as possible."

"Oh Bell, I'm sorry, I can eat something else?" And if that's not proof that she likes him he doesn't know what is. He knows just how much she likes her peanut butter, after all, he's watching her inhale quite a few of the candy bars O brings home for her with it in it.

"No, by all means, princess please finish that," he smiles at her and scoots back her way. "It can't kill me after all…"

"Bell…" she leans her head on him- blinking back tears. Joking is his way of dealing with things now and she gets it. But she also can't stand it. She can't cope by joking, he's the most important person in the world to her now. O being a close second and then her mom even though they don't really speak anymore.

"I know…" he mumbles, feeling only a little guilty for the way he deals with things. "But It's true princess…" He can feel her nod and he's more relieved than he can say when her sniffling soon stops.

"I know"


End file.
